Gentleness

Narrated by Abu Nu’aym (rahimahullah) from Aisha (RA):

She said: A group of Jews sought permission to enter upon the Prophet (peace be upon him). When they entered, they said, “As-Saamu ‘alaika” (Death be upon you). So I said, “Rather, death and curse be upon you!”
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
“O Aisha! Allah is gentle and He loves gentleness in all matters.”
I said: “Did you not hear what they said?”
He replied: “And I said: Wa ‘alaikum (and upon you).”

‎أَبُو نُعَيْمٍ عَنْ ابْنِ عُيَيْنَةَ عَنْ الزُّهْرِيِّ عَنْ عُرْوَةَ عَنْ عَائِشَةَ قَالَتْ اسْتَأْذَنَ رَهْطٌ مِنْ الْيَهُودِ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالُوا السَّامُ عَلَيْكَ فَقُلْتُ بَلْ عَلَيْكُمْ السَّامُ وَاللَّعْنَةُ فَقَالَ يَا عَائِشَةُ إِنَّ اللهَ رَفِيقٌ يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ فِي الأَمْرِ كُلِّهِ قُلْتُ أَوَلَمْ تَسْمَعْ مَا قَالُوا قَالَ قُلْتُ وَعَلَيْكُمْ

— Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6927
(Hadith Grading: Sahih)

Narrated by Ummul Mu’minin ‘Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her):

She said: The first form of revelation that came to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) was true dreams while he was asleep. Whatever dream he saw came true like the brightness of the morning. Then seclusion became dear to him, and he used to withdraw to the cave of Ḥirā’ to engage in worship there for several nights before returning to his family. He would take provisions with him for that period, and then return to Khadījah (may Allah be pleased with her) to take more food and do the same again.

While he was in the cave of Ḥirā’, revelation came to him. The angel came to him and said, “Read.” The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “I replied, ‘I do not know how to read.’”
He (the angel) then seized me and pressed me so hard that I could not bear it. He released me and said, “Read.” I replied, “I do not know how to read.”
He again seized me and pressed me a second time till I could not bear it, then released me and said, “Read.” I replied, “I do not know how to read.”
Then he seized me the third time and pressed me, then released me and said:

“Read in the name of your Lord who created –
Created man from a clot (of congealed blood).
Read, and your Lord is the Most Generous.”
(Surah Al-‘Alaq 96:1–3)

‎  حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ بُكَيْرٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا اللَّيْثُ، عَنْ عُقَيْلٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ شِهَابٍ، عَنْ عُرْوَةَ بْنِ الزُّبَيْرِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ أُمِّ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ، أَنَّهَا قَالَتْ أَوَّلُ مَا بُدِئَ بِهِ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم مِنَ الْوَحْىِ الرُّؤْيَا الصَّالِحَةُ فِي النَّوْمِ، فَكَانَ لاَ يَرَى رُؤْيَا إِلاَّ جَاءَتْ مِثْلَ فَلَقِ الصُّبْحِ، ثُمَّ حُبِّبَ إِلَيْهِ الْخَلاَءُ، وَكَانَ يَخْلُو بِغَارِ حِرَاءٍ فَيَتَحَنَّثُ فِيهِ ـ وَهُوَ التَّعَبُّدُ ـ اللَّيَالِيَ ذَوَاتِ الْعَدَدِ قَبْلَ أَنْ يَنْزِعَ إِلَى أَهْلِهِ، وَيَتَزَوَّدُ لِذَلِكَ، ثُمَّ يَرْجِعُ إِلَى خَدِيجَةَ، فَيَتَزَوَّدُ لِمِثْلِهَا، حَتَّى جَاءَهُ الْحَقُّ وَهُوَ فِي غَارِ حِرَاءٍ، فَجَاءَهُ الْمَلَكُ فَقَالَ اقْرَأْ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏”‏ مَا أَنَا بِقَارِئٍ ‏”‏‏.‏ قَالَ ‏”‏ فَأَخَذَنِي فَغَطَّنِي حَتَّى بَلَغَ مِنِّي الْجَهْدَ، ثُمَّ أَرْسَلَنِي فَقَالَ اقْرَأْ‏.‏ قُلْتُ مَا أَنَا بِقَارِئٍ‏.‏ فَأَخَذَنِي فَغَطَّنِي الثَّانِيَةَ حَتَّى بَلَغَ مِنِّي الْجَهْدَ، ثُمَّ أَرْسَلَنِي فَقَالَ اقْرَأْ‏.‏ فَقُلْتُ مَا أَنَا بِقَارِئٍ‏.‏ فَأَخَذَنِي فَغَطَّنِي الثَّالِثَةَ، ثُمَّ أَرْسَلَنِي فَقَالَ ‏{‏اقْرَأْ بِاسْمِ رَبِّكَ الَّذِي خَلَقَ * خَلَقَ الإِنْسَانَ مِنْ عَلَقٍ * اقْرَأْ وَرَبُّكَ الأَكْرَمُ‏}‏ ‏”‏‏.‏ فَرَجَعَ بِهَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَرْجُفُ فُؤَادُهُ، فَدَخَلَ عَلَى خَدِيجَةَ بِنْتِ خُوَيْلِدٍ رضى الله عنها فَقَالَ ‏”‏ زَمِّلُونِي زَمِّلُونِي ‏”‏‏.‏ فَزَمَّلُوهُ حَتَّى ذَهَبَ عَنْهُ الرَّوْعُ، فَقَالَ لِخَدِيجَةَ وَأَخْبَرَهَا الْخَبَرَ ‏”‏ لَقَدْ خَشِيتُ عَلَى نَفْسِي ‏”‏‏.‏ فَقَالَتْ خَدِيجَةُ كَلاَّ وَاللَّهِ مَا يُخْزِيكَ اللَّهُ أَبَدًا، إِنَّكَ لَتَصِلُ الرَّحِمَ، وَتَحْمِلُ الْكَلَّ، وَتَكْسِبُ الْمَعْدُومَ، وَتَقْرِي الضَّيْفَ، وَتُعِينُ عَلَى نَوَائِبِ الْحَقِّ‏.‏ فَانْطَلَقَتْ بِهِ خَدِيجَةُ حَتَّى أَتَتْ بِهِ وَرَقَةَ بْنَ نَوْفَلِ بْنِ أَسَدِ بْنِ عَبْدِ الْعُزَّى ابْنَ عَمِّ خَدِيجَةَ ـ وَكَانَ امْرَأً تَنَصَّرَ فِي الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ، وَكَانَ يَكْتُبُ الْكِتَابَ الْعِبْرَانِيَّ، فَيَكْتُبُ مِنَ الإِنْجِيلِ بِالْعِبْرَانِيَّةِ مَا شَاءَ اللَّهُ أَنْ يَكْتُبَ، وَكَانَ شَيْخًا كَبِيرًا قَدْ عَمِيَ ـ فَقَالَتْ لَهُ خَدِيجَةُ يَا ابْنَ عَمِّ اسْمَعْ مِنَ ابْنِ أَخِيكَ‏.‏ فَقَالَ لَهُ وَرَقَةُ يَا ابْنَ أَخِي مَاذَا تَرَى فَأَخْبَرَهُ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم خَبَرَ مَا رَأَى‏.‏ فَقَالَ لَهُ وَرَقَةُ هَذَا النَّامُوسُ الَّذِي نَزَّلَ اللَّهُ عَلَى مُوسَى صلى الله عليه وسلم يَا لَيْتَنِي فِيهَا جَذَعًا، لَيْتَنِي أَكُونُ حَيًّا إِذْ يُخْرِجُكَ قَوْمُكَ‏.‏ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏”‏ أَوَمُخْرِجِيَّ هُمْ ‏”‏‏.‏ قَالَ نَعَمْ، لَمْ يَأْتِ رَجُلٌ قَطُّ بِمِثْلِ مَا جِئْتَ بِهِ إِلاَّ عُودِيَ، وَإِنْ يُدْرِكْنِي يَوْمُكَ أَنْصُرْكَ نَصْرًا مُؤَزَّرًا‏.‏ ثُمَّ لَمْ يَنْشَبْ وَرَقَةُ أَنْ تُوُفِّيَ وَفَتَرَ الْوَحْىُ‏.‏  

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Why is Gentleness so Powerful?

Allah tells Prophet Musa to speak gently even to Pharaoh:

“Speak to him with gentle words, so that he may remember or fear.”
(Qur’an 20:44)

Pharaoh was a tyrant — yet Allah ordered gentleness, not harshness.
This shows that soft words are more powerful than force.

Why is Gentleness Important to Allah?

Allah says to Prophet Muhammad ﷺ:

“It is by Allah’s mercy that you were gentle with them. Had you been harsh and hard-hearted, they would have dispersed from around you.”
(Qur’an 3:159)

This verse proves:

• Gentleness attracts hearts
• Harshness drives people away
• Gentleness is a sign of Allah’s mercy

Is Gentleness a Strength?

Allah describes the strong believers:

“Those who restrain anger and pardon people — and Allah loves the doers of good.”
(Qur’an 3:134)

It takes strength to control anger and forgive.
Anyone can be harsh.
Only the strong can remain gentle.

What Is a Spirit of Gentleness?

Allah praises those who respond softly even when insulted:

“The servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk gently on the earth, and when the ignorant address them, they say words of peace.”
(Qur’an 25:63)

A spirit of gentleness means:

• Calm in conflict
• Peaceful in speech
• Humble in behavior

What Is the Real Meaning of Gentleness?

Allah commands:

“Repel evil with what is better.”
(Qur’an 41:34)

Gentleness means responding to harm with goodness instead of revenge.

What Are the Signs of Gentleness?

Allah lists them:

“They restrain anger, pardon people, and do good.”
(Qur’an 3:134)

So a gentle person:

• Controls anger
• Forgives
• Shows kindness

Example of Gentleness in the Qur’an

Prophet Yusuf was betrayed, imprisoned, and wronged. When he gained power, he said:

“No blame upon you today. Allah will forgive you.”
(Qur’an 12:92)

That is true gentleness: forgiving when you have power.

Why Gentleness Changes Hearts

Allah says:

“Good and evil are not equal. Repel evil with what is better, and the one who was your enemy will become your close friend.”
(Qur’an 41:34)

Gentleness turns enemies into allies.

Final Qur’anic Truth

Gentleness is:

Power guided by mercy.

Allah loves it.
Allah commands it.
Allah uses it to change hearts.